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HAPPY DALE ONLINE SANITARIUM
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The place where you are never more than a few clicks away from normality
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WAITING ROOM
Unfortunately, it can get pretty boring in a waiting room, here are a few things you can do to make your wait more entertaining:
Make paper airplanes out of magazine pages. Fly them around the room.
Sit down right next to a complete stranger. Turn and smile. Turn back whenever they look. Then, after a few minutes, stick your tongue out at them.
Bang your head against the wall or corner in the room and mutter, "shut up, all of you, just shut up!" even if there is no one there other than the receptionist.
Go up to the receptionist. When s/he asks if you have an appointment, look wildly around and start whispering the word `appointment?' under your breath. Then jump up and down and scream "we don't need no stinkin' appointment".
Cut coupons out of magazines in waiting room and arrange them on the table in neat rows.
Go through the entire check in procedure while firmly grasping a surfboard.
When the doctor asks what the problem is, pull out a dead mouse and ask him/her if they know who you are. Answer "Lenny".
Carry a puppet in with you. Every time the doctor says something, say `I think I'll need a second opinion.' Consult with puppet. Have the puppet constantly disagree.
Walk into the doctor's office staring into a flashlight. Complain of seeing dots. When the doctor tells you to stop staring into the flashlight, say `Oh right. Whatever.'
When doctor enters, have velcro blood pressure thing wrapped around head. Close eyes and keep whispering `I am getting smarter. I am getting smarter.
Mirror everything the receptionist does. After a while start repeating everything she says too.
When doctor enters room, quickly ask if you can use the restroom. Promise to return speedily. Wait at least an hour. When you finally return and doctor asks what took so long, act really angry and say ?You're the doctor, you tell me!''
.Bring a laptop computer. Before doctor starts exam, ask if he is Windows 95 compatible. If he says no, get up and leave.
